inside monkey's brain

o.o ugg im up ….i really don’t want to be up O.o why do you forsaken me sleep don’t you know i rarely see your comfort …..

what is it about today that makes me so uggg O%2EO i think its a combination of the weather and everything in it

well here i am still recovering from this surgery i had at the beginning of may :( when will i finaly be over this long and grueling part of my life the healing oh the healing the site modtv1337.com is coming along great but its slow :( when its done things should pick up they better lol at least gamestop saw what i was trying to do and now are sponsors :D im learning alot i know how to make a wordpress site and i know how to use photoshop cs3 the learning will never stop seeing as i love technology so much :D i wounder what category i fall under and what career type i am if i love working on pcs and making websites O.O

got my laptop back in tip top shape and soon to have an iphone 3g could life get much better then this?

june 26 2008

Today i sat down and thought about everything in my life

aug is comeing up soon and i dont know how im going to be able to handle it. it will be one year exactly from when i lost my nefew……alot has happened but it still feels like just yesterday i was siting next to him jokeing around about how much he had grown…….everytime i think about it i tear up and the pain comes back so i avoid all conversations about him but something tells me on the aniversery of his death i will not be so privlaged to avoid the topic. i dont want to face his death anymore then my own. i dont want to get anymore flashbacks of when i had to see his pale face lying in the coffin how he didnt look like himself at all it  still seems fake sometimes i wish it was some very cruel joke …ur never scared of death untill someone close to you dies i never want to wish this on anyone not even my worse enemy  i dont know maby i should leave for a month and then come back so i dont have to face all the conversations and akward moments im going to go thru in the comeing months…….im too scared im still too hurt.

depressed

this morning im a little down so ima pack up my laptop and head to a social area to pick up my mood a bit

today was a good day

worked on the site a little then a good freind of mine messaged me on 360 and yelling that the new map for frontlines was released and also that gta 4 had gotten a new patch i spent some of the day thinking how to improve my site and the other half relaxing on xbox 360